But anyway...

All that aside, there are currently two great stories in the comments to my earlier post, "Nothing more than an inconsequential red herring," Mrs. Porter snipped. "Besides, if it weren't for that, we'd have all drowned." Though I like how neither really answers quite why Mrs. Porter was saying that. I'm glad the theme seems to involve cryptic ramblings. Check them out!

This Started as a Brief Update

THIS pissed me off--

PETA, whom I typically regard as a band of attention-seeking monsters who speed along the process of fur manufacturing by destroying what's already manufactured, further solidified my disdain by announcing that they are also apparently against the existence, breeding, and rescuing of Pit Bulls, so says this article

I love that "an unpredictable chihuahua is one thing, an unpredictable pit another." Put a Chihuahua next to a Pit and which one seems more dangerous? Brilliant comparison, Ingrid Newkirk. How about an unpredictable Doberman or Mastiff? Hey, a mouse with pointy teeth is one thing, but a Siberian Tiger with pointy teeth is another!

Look, the continuing negative portrayal of Pits by the media is exactly what encourages assholes looking for a deadly dog to breed them. If you convinced dog fighters that Rotweillers were vicious killing machines, then those idiots would breed Rots, and we'd see them mauling police and killing babies. It's not in the blood. It's in the upbringing. Great Danes were bred for protection too. You can't tie any old Husky to the front of a sled and expect to win the Iditarod. Does your Chihuahua quiero Taco Bell? Well probably, but just because it's food, not because its Mexican.

She says "those who argue against...the shelter euthenasia policy for pit bulls are naive." Said policy is, in her own words, "any pit bull that comes through the front door doesn't go out the back door alive." ANY! Any pit bull. Naive? Any and all pit bulls brought into an ANIMAL SHELTER should be executed without regards to their behavior or upbringing. Well the definition I have of naive is showing lack of experience, wisdom, or judgement, Ingrid. I just wish I could meet her in person so my pit bull could rip her face off, except my Pit wouldn't attack Hitler if she had the chance, but she'd still be immediately euthanized upon entering a god damn ANIMAL SHELTER according to that attention grubbing hack.

Couldn't you use all your damn power and publicity to educate people about these dogs rather than try to appease the masses by going along with ignorant stereotypes and inconclusive data? Sure, look how many fatal dog attacks have been by Pits in the last 20 years (20% of them, by the way), and look at how the aggression towards these dogs grows. It's a downward spiral people. Quit contributing. Yes, I am for cracking down on breeding, because they are largely bred for fighting purposes. But can we PLEASE start focusing on the PEOPLE who are doing this? PETA? Hello? Isn't that what you're supposed to DO? Get PEOPLE who are UNETHICALLY treating ANIMALS? Like YOU?!  For like 2 months after Michael Vick was arrested, there were a smattering of stories about people running dog fighting rings. And then everyone forgot. Let's go back to blaming it on the dogs. It's easier to euthanize the strays than to find the people responsible for abandoning them or torturing them into being frightened, vicious attackers.

Now, I'd also like to point out that I mentioned 20% of all FATAL dog attacks are Pit Bulls. This comes from a study by the Centers for Disease Control, which, by the way, does NOT advocate breed-specific legislation, which you can find in their write-up, here. Thank you, doctors and scientists for providing an educated take on the matter. One other thing they do point out is that their is NO system currently enacted to record NON-fatal dog attacks. Here's the thing... When it comes down to it, there's probably WAY less NON-fatal Pit Bull attacks than fatal. They are ridiculously strong and determined dogs. What this study is admittedly not telling us is how often any given breed actually attacks. Which means the study tells us nothing except that they are more deadly in an attacking situation. Any implication from this study that Pit Bulls actually attack more than other breeds is completely fabricated and has no backing. Jesus, I didn't even take statistics and I can tell you that.

Every so often the debate switches to gun control. If I'm for keeping Pits legal, why don't I say the same thing about guns? It's not the gun's fault, it's the owner! Just like Pits, right? Well, how about this-- Pit Bulls are living intelligent creatures and we have no right to kill them just because we don't know how else to cope with the problem!! Guns are man-made killing machines. Just wanted to make that clear before it comes up.

I'm not saying there aren't surprise attacks by Pits. I'm not saying I'd leave one alone with children and feel safe. These dogs pack a tremendous amount of power and should be monitored carefully. My dog doesn't know how strong she is, she could easily crush a Pomeranian (which does also live at our house) with her bare feet. But I'm a responsible owner who doesn't leave her alone with a Pom. I don't fall asleep in a drug coma while my baby is on the floor and my Pit hasn't been fed all day. But beyond not being an absolute idiot, it doesn't take a lot to own a Pit responsibly. Just pay attention to her. Problem is, most people don't pay enough attention to their damn BEAGLES.

I'm also not saying that PETA has never done anything good for the animals. Of course they've made tremendous strides, and most of the members, donors, and activists are doing what they do in support of the animals. But I'll write more about Ingrid Newkirk later and why she is a CRAZY PERSON. And I know PETA doesn't outwardly condone the militant paint-throwers, but it's typically found to be PETA members doing it, and they are some of the least efficient and most obnoxious protesters I know of in history. Pissing people off is no way to make a name for yourself or your cause. 

Anyway, I keep going back and adding things, so I'll wrap this up. Now, this article is from 2005. If there's any evidence that the "People" for the "Ethical" Treatment of Animals have acted to the contrary in the last four years, I'd love to hear it. Until then, if you see Ingrid Newkirk, feel free to pour a bucket of paint on her and see if she doesn't go back to the store and buy more of the clothes you destroyed.


"Nothing more than an inconsequential red herring," Mrs. Porter snipped. "And besides, if it weren't for that, we'd all have drowned."

If you checked out CNN today, you might have seen that one trillion seconds is about 32,000 years! They were talking about the trillions of dollars everyone owes and needs right now. If I'd saved 1 dollar every second of my life for 24 years, I'd have 756,864,000 dollars. I'd have to make it 1,321 dollars a second to have reached one trillion by now.

I found an estimate that 106,456,367,669 people have ever been born (one-hundred six billion). As of February 2009, there are 6,757,540,531 (6.7 billion) people in the world which means that roughly 5% of the people who were ever born are alive today. Which, for the entire history of mankind, is a ridiculously high number. Stop having babies, please. It's actually very easy. Here, I'll show you:

See? And yeah, that's the California state seal in the background. I imagine they'd be the first state to figure this out. Now, Will's pushing it cause he's got three kids. In case you didn't know, "Willard Christopher "Trey" Smith III: Born in 1992. His mother is Sheree Zampino."

But enough about the Pinkett-Smiths. Let's talk about you. Write me a short story using the quote line from the title of this blog. The best one wins me saying so. Leave it as a comment or post it elsewhere and leave me a link to it. Ready? GO!



"The evolution of the world can be compared to a display of fireworks that has just ended; some few red wisps, ashes and smoke. Standing on a cooled cinder, we see the slow fading of the suns, and we try to recall the vanishing brilliance of the origin of the worlds." - Lemaitre.

I'd been waiting to post again until I got the cable for my digital camera and I could upload some damn pictures, but apparently said USB cable doesn't exist in the retail world. That's my excuse, but in all honesty I just haven't sat down at the computer in like two weeks except for a little work here and there. Oh, and sometimes Bubble Spinner.

And have you been Obamicon-ed?

...and so on.

Hey, you might have seen the news the other night, or you might have checked the ajc.com story about the rally in L5P. Here's a picture of me, Rob, and James making a difference

Well, James and Rob are making a difference, anyway. That's my scarf fringe on the right edge of the picture. But yes I signed said petition too, which I can't find an online copy of. But it's for more focus on the police department from the city. Basically more pay for more officers. If you do live in the Atlanta area, or even if you don't, do check out www.atlantanstogether.org The city's a mess.

You might think that's LOST's Jorge Garcia, but it's not. That's me after visiting Green's candy shop (or shoppe, probably) in Decatur (Decaturre). It's no Fuzziwigs, (which apparently nobody knows about but me) but they do have chocolate covered oreos.

Well, this is what we all get when I sit down feeling uninspired. But then again I haven't done ANYTHING in a week because it's my first week relatively off ever. I made sure as little happened as possible. Next week the adventure continues.

Here, I stole this for you:
Two quantum physicists walk into a bar. One says to the other, "It's ten o'clock. Do you know what time it is?"


The Test Begins.... NOWOWOWOWOWowowow...(Fade out)

Here's news for you... I just quadrippled my productivity by investigating Multicam Editing, thanks to James Albert Hawkins-Gaar for the heads up. And thanks Ken Stone for the tutorial. Oh, by the way, see figure 1.0...

Nice font, film school. Are you as boring as you look on the scoreboard? Thought so. This image will be on the cover page of my resume, btw.

Anyway, I've been editing the footage from the dance production "You Wont Let Those Robots Eat Me" (dir. Holly Mann) which I plan to have a full movie of by...I'm gonna say the New Year, and we'll be able to judge how good my judging skills are after that. Judgejdgge.
I'm also looking at film festivals for Loaded Guns: The Movie for next year! Here comes the money!! AAAnd the DVD should...nay, WILL be ready by mid January. Money x2, Check and mate!

Also on the list: Christian Comic Chaos, Shake-N-Bake (reheated), Pterodactyls, Choose Your Adventure (kinda), Clocky, various dogs and cats that need glorifying, and the Caspar-Morris wedding. I'm gonna call it here, all those to be done by the middle of February.

Today I learned that an insanely huge flatscreen HDTV 1080p is only like TWO thousand dollars! I thought for certain it'd be 3.5 but I was wrong! And that was at Best Buy, which is saying something, because we all know the truth about Best Buy (see figure 1.1)

So that really bumps it up a notch on the list of things I can't afford but I'm gonna find a way to buy anyway. 

Hey, like video games/contraptions/physics and wanna waste some serious time? A near step up from Fantastic Contraption, it's Incredibots

Time for bed, but coming soon-- New Years Resolutions (1080p!), The Problem with February, and LOST Season 5 - Can We Get ONE Uninterrupted Season in Please?


You can't spell "blog" without b-l-o-g.

After poring through Alice in Wonderland and Through The Looking Glass, more specifically "Jabberwocky" for a title for this blog, I realized that millions of people have already chosen "Slithy Toves" and "Mimsy" what-have-yous as their screen names and signatures, so I decided to stick with my slightly more obscure reference to the Rene Magritte painting,"This is not a pipe" (see figure 0.0). Because this is not an Eli. This is a textual representation of what Eli's conversation might be if he was speaking to no one in particular. And on top of that, it's only your perception of said conversation. Which is why existentialism and surrealism are where philosophy and art meet science and reason. But then again, see figure 0.1

So as soon as you start up your blog, one of the first things they ask you for is a description. That's like pulling a baby out of a uterus and screaming "WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH YOUR LIFE?" Slow down, Doc! That kind of description can only come from nurturing and growing and going back and reading all the crap you've written for the last three months and saying "what in the hell was I talking about?"

You know when I was your age a blog was called a "livejournal." And it wasn't until after months and months of plain old boring text that anyone even thought to start writing in html. Thank god it does all that for you now. Dodged what I like to call a "learning bullet" on that one. Now let's get into the why's and who's and whence's of this whole blog thing I decided to start up:

1.) Writing? Oh yeah, words.
In my own personal quest to write more, I've tried to start with reading more. Harry Potter got me back into reading for a minute, but waking up at 5:30 to "sling biscuits" got me out of it again. Writing for a while completely devoid of style will force me to read more. So instead of reading to write more, I'm writing more to read more so that I can write more. Putting the cart before the horse, if you will. Or if you wont, putting the "Charm School" before the "Flavor/Rock of Love."

I have the utmost reverence for the blogs out there simply seeking to show us some fascinating shit that is strewn about this world wide web of insanity, as is seen with the one that got me into this blogger mess, this guy. And oh there's so much I want you all to see (see figure 0.2) that I'll be blasting it to you via ce blog ici. Click the lemur.

3.) Who threw that shoe?
We can only give back the equivalent of the resources that we are given to begin with. We charge to manipulate them into something else, thereby providing what we call a service. So give me a shoe and I'll make shoe-aid
(have you actually watched this??). I love comments. Tell me what to write and I'll manipulate it into something I like and sell it back to you. I have yet to figure out exactly what this blog is going to "be". As much as you love my blog, it loves you back times three.
...Here's what I'll say though. I hate the word "blog" and I hope that in the future I never again have to write it.

Thanks for reading! I leave you with with this little quote from esteemed Mongol Khagan, Sir Genghis Kahn.

“I am the punishment of God...If you had not committed great sins, God would not have sent a punishment like me upon you.”

Gooooood night everybody!