You can't spell "blog" without b-l-o-g.

After poring through Alice in Wonderland and Through The Looking Glass, more specifically "Jabberwocky" for a title for this blog, I realized that millions of people have already chosen "Slithy Toves" and "Mimsy" what-have-yous as their screen names and signatures, so I decided to stick with my slightly more obscure reference to the Rene Magritte painting,"This is not a pipe" (see figure 0.0). Because this is not an Eli. This is a textual representation of what Eli's conversation might be if he was speaking to no one in particular. And on top of that, it's only your perception of said conversation. Which is why existentialism and surrealism are where philosophy and art meet science and reason. But then again, see figure 0.1

So as soon as you start up your blog, one of the first things they ask you for is a description. That's like pulling a baby out of a uterus and screaming "WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH YOUR LIFE?" Slow down, Doc! That kind of description can only come from nurturing and growing and going back and reading all the crap you've written for the last three months and saying "what in the hell was I talking about?"

You know when I was your age a blog was called a "livejournal." And it wasn't until after months and months of plain old boring text that anyone even thought to start writing in html. Thank god it does all that for you now. Dodged what I like to call a "learning bullet" on that one. Now let's get into the why's and who's and whence's of this whole blog thing I decided to start up:

1.) Writing? Oh yeah, words.
In my own personal quest to write more, I've tried to start with reading more. Harry Potter got me back into reading for a minute, but waking up at 5:30 to "sling biscuits" got me out of it again. Writing for a while completely devoid of style will force me to read more. So instead of reading to write more, I'm writing more to read more so that I can write more. Putting the cart before the horse, if you will. Or if you wont, putting the "Charm School" before the "Flavor/Rock of Love."

I have the utmost reverence for the blogs out there simply seeking to show us some fascinating shit that is strewn about this world wide web of insanity, as is seen with the one that got me into this blogger mess, this guy. And oh there's so much I want you all to see (see figure 0.2) that I'll be blasting it to you via ce blog ici. Click the lemur.

3.) Who threw that shoe?
We can only give back the equivalent of the resources that we are given to begin with. We charge to manipulate them into something else, thereby providing what we call a service. So give me a shoe and I'll make shoe-aid
(have you actually watched this??). I love comments. Tell me what to write and I'll manipulate it into something I like and sell it back to you. I have yet to figure out exactly what this blog is going to "be". As much as you love my blog, it loves you back times three.
...Here's what I'll say though. I hate the word "blog" and I hope that in the future I never again have to write it.

Thanks for reading! I leave you with with this little quote from esteemed Mongol Khagan, Sir Genghis Kahn.

“I am the punishment of God...If you had not committed great sins, God would not have sent a punishment like me upon you.”

Gooooood night everybody!


  1. Honest to blog, what's wrong with that word? And what's wrong with those potatoes?

  2. My mission is complete, and at long last I can rest...

    -- You Mother

  3. C'est la vie
    C'est la guerre
    C'est une pomme de terre.

    It's life
    It's war
    It's a potato.